Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Creepy hereditary random

I have spent a great deal of time, and space on this blog, musing about monkeys-primarily of the creepy variety. Why do they show themselves to me so often? Where did the roots of this special connection originate? Today I uncovered some information that may both help you sleep at night, finally knowing the answer, but also could keep you up at night due to the graphic nature of the evidence. Creepy monkey love is my destiny-written in my DNA. 

My mother and I were watching some old home movies today, when we stumbled across some footage from her eleventh birthday. She was very happy to see her favorite dress...1959 was an excellent year for fashion (and bows). I was too distracted by what on earth she was carrying towards the camera. "Those are monkeys, I got them for my birthday. I loved them!" 
Look at how that one is reaching up for her neck. Look out, Mom!! You can see my fingers coming in from the right side of the frame, trying to save her. I tried to accept these cuddly friends of hers, but then she explained that they were made of rattan and hard. "I could hook their hands together, and then hang them from things." Nope. My mother seems very sure that this fabulous monkey duo is no longer lurking about in my grandparents' house. Why do I feel like there is a chance they are hiding there, waiting for me? Just hanging around...being creepy. 

At least now we know. 

Friday, August 11, 2017

A rewarding experience


The humans here seem pretty amused with themselves about this...
...pardon me while I take a break from the hilarity to ask what the magic number is, and what the reward might be?

Foz! You're back here on the blog, is that not enough of a treat for both you and your fan(s)?

I will ponder that, but for now I ask you to keep in mind that NOBODY puts Fozzie in a corner!
Fozzie, you exiled yourself to that spot.

Why must you mess with my perfectly good Dirty Dancing reference?!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Random chirp

 Well that pretty much sums up this blog for the month of July!

Was I as busy as this friend?
Nope. Out looking for the BEST deals?
Not really. Perfecting my marshmallow roasting technique?

Well, yes, that was part of it. I also spent an embarrassing amount of time looking for a blog post I had written about making cookie cakes, only to find that there was not an actual post, but rather just a brief reference to the "ring of fire" experience. I was going to save this glorious photo for its very own post...
...but I think we all know how that goes, and how long the wait would be. Plus, in my quick glimpse through my phone photos, I saw plenty of others worthy of full discussions that we may or may not actually get to. Let's just say that when you put cookie dough on a pizza stone, it is a half batch-even if you tell yourself it doesn't look like quite enough...IT IS! 

I spent a couple of days at the beach...
...on the beach! Looking for treasures...
...finding the dead horseshoe crab apocalypse...
Got my usual dose of Cape Cod hydrangea envy...
...and in a completely unrelated story, I found out what can happen to a box of pasta if it travels to college and back before being cooked.
I never realized the frailty of rigatoni!

Regardless of whatever lame excuses I could make for not being here, (Did July even have Tuesdays? Please don't tell Foz if there were in fact Fridays.) I would like to come back.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Somewhere over the random

Tuesday?! It's Tuesday? Has that been going on all day long? I attributed all of the joy I was experiencing to the whole Monday thing. Interesting. Taco Tuesday dinner solidified my understanding of where we were at in the week. Feeling revived after the fiesta, I decided to dust myself off and make an effort to make something resembling progress with the little bit of daylight left.

The rain was trying to keep itself out of my way, and I spotted a beautiful double rainbow. I had to follow it, giddy with excitement over what I might find.
Nooooooooooooo!

Friday, June 23, 2017

Lawn ornament

I can't believe how many weeks went by with no Fridays. I wonder who stole them all? No doubt the most concerning part of the ordeal was the lack of my posts in your lives. Hopefully you were able to sleep at night without knowing what I was up to.
I've been keeping a pretty vigilant eye on things around here. Don't let my pose fool you, as I could be up and defending my lawn in seconds...if I wanted to. Maybe we just have some differing opinions on what threats are? Bunnies eating flowers is not an issue for me, as I don't particularly like the taste of petunias. Plus, must I remind her of how much I do enjoy Rabbit Raisinettes? Basically, I have claimed whatever parts of this yard that interest me, and I am not sorry if one of her brand new planters fell into that category. She probably should have peed on it if it was so important.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Just a touch of [creepy] random

Here we are again, trying to keep up with the random at the very least. (Foz would like to add that he is not pleased. I would like to add that, in addition to peeing on the floor daily, he doesn't know what day of the week it is...like ever!) I admit, it took something pretty worthwhile to get me to put aside my laundry folding and ebay auction checking. Where to begin?! Let's just start right at the top...
Sadly that shelf tag was there to confirm my fear of what this item was. "Emoji Poop Jelly Fishy"? Oh. Hell. No. Too far emoji, TOO FAR! It really swims? "Poo!" A "pet"? Make it stop!!!!! Just what is the lifelike movement for a pile of poop? This whole thing is more that a "lil' fishy". I need something to calm me down and find my happy place.
CREEPY MONKEYS OF A CERAMIC VARIETY?!?! No wisps of lifelike hair? And here I thought that was the creepy feature. Nope. For $245 I will come hold your packets of sugar, brew the coffee, stir it AND make you some breakfast to go with. I just can't even! That little one is having horribly devious thoughts, I can just tell. I'll be rocking in the corner if you need me.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Well gifted random

How do you respond when someone asks you what you want for a special occasion of the gift giving kind? Do you keep a mental list handy just in case, or do you buy yourself the stuff you want for fear nobody will ask, or worse, you will forget what that awesome idea was? I have had awkward moments where inquiring minds did not like the gift suggestion I provided...for something I wanted and/or needed. Can we at least agree that it is difficult to be put on the spot, trying to find a delicate balance between being helpful and seeming greedy?

Maybe sometimes you open a gift that is something so fantastic and unique that there was no possible way you could have known you wanted it - like who knew it existed?! My friend Misty (yeah, I won't bother to link to her blog since it is pretty dusty over there, and you might get hit by a tumbleweed) sent me things like my "World's Okayest Mom" mug and a poop emoji hat. I was unaware of such treasures before they were in my hands.

Recently my aunt bestowed me with some glorious finds that were not only artifacts I did not know one could attain, I was not even positive at first what they were, so stunned was I. Creepy monkeys would have been too obvious, so she widened her search to another part of the animal kingdom for this...
...this, well THIS. A sly eyed pig in a fancy hat with various places to put various things. Are you stumped? Or better still, are you about to tell me how your family had one of these that they put on the table for holidays and every time you served, um, something? Luckily there was a tag, but I am not completely satisfied with the information it provided...
...because what goes in those other two spots?! Toothpicks are my best guess.

Oh, but she was not done, this wizardess of gifting. She had not fully shown me how well she truly knew me, until these were presented...
How would I EVER have known to ask for eggplant headed salt and pepper shakers with creepily drawn sad eyes? I did not even realize the void that was in my life before this pair found their home on my kitchen windowsill.

So the next time someone asks you for a gift idea, tell them to just find something they think is you! Don't forget to come show me what you get! I hope whatever it is brings you as much joy as these items have truly brought me. (Still cracking up every time I look at the eggplants, as I just got them the other day, so the novelty hasn't worn off yet.)